The Gratitude of Shadows

*video from Restore Your Gratitude Exploration


I felt called to go back to the archives of nOMad's Gratitude Practice (on my recently updated Youtube channel) to witness how perspectives change with experience, time, and knowledge.

And well, this message from six years ago is still the same...

Fear can get in our way, even when it comes to appreciating what we have.

If we have that abandonment wound, we can allow Fear to get in our ear about not becoming too attached in case the good thing decides to leave us. When this happens, we don't allow ourselves to accept it, receive the moment, the relationship, the gift...

Have you been guilty of not appreciating because of Fear?

My Story with Fear

Here is what Fear has looked like for me, pretty much my whole life...

*Video from Dear Radiant Poems inspired by Dear Radiant One: An Emotional Recovery Story and Transformational Guide to Embody the Dance of Life

So Where am I Now?

Over the last few weeks, I house/horse/dog sat for a dear friend. It gave me an opportunity to really spend time alone and reflect deeply on what I want the next year to bring.

During that time, I took a look back at this year at what felt like success, what felt like failure, what felt like wisdom, and what I want my future to feel like. With that came a deep detox from some archetypes of relationships that have been present in my life since childhood that kept me hooked in patterns that enabled them. There was a lot of silence as I sat with my fears and the chaos that kept me in unhealthy holding patterns. I looked at the toxic relationships that kept me from really seeing the beauty of myself and from receiving my true essence. I looked at my reactions that ended up eating away my energy, time, and finances that kept me from my mission and vision of making the world a better place. I looked at all the past traumas that kept me from seeing that I am good enough for greatness.

In these spaces I softened, I forgave, and I found gratitude for it all. I found Gratitude even in the places where Fear held me back.

Yes, even gratitude for the fear because it also knew there was something even bigger and better out there for me to fully embrace it when it comes but in the meantime, Fear had some lessons for me to learn. It had lessons for me to keep learning how to discover more ways to love myself, more ways to set boundaries that would keep me safe, more ways to find how to be grateful despite the hardships, more innovative ways to be creative with my time, energy, and resources.

What About You?

As we enter into the space of  Winter Solstice, the darkest day in the northern hemisphere, I invite you to take a bit of time for yourself to reflect on your darker parts, like Fear.

First, look back at this year and ask yourself:

What were your successes you are grateful for?

What were your failures?

Now, dig deeper...

What can you bring from these shadows of failure to the light with Gratitude now?

What did these shadows teach you?

What gifts were wrapped up in their dark cloths?

What are you going through right now in your own dark night of the soul that could potentially be a valuable lesson or gift that you can now soften into and fully receive in its RADIANCE?

'Tis the season to bring the light into the darkness and shine brightly, Dear Radiant One.


trust your life


Read more stories of mine, please check out my book, Dear Radiant One...An Emotional Recovery Story and Transformational Guide to Embody th Dance of Life

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